Mom got me some new heel boots yesterday while we were out. I wore them last night and today, and they somehow hurt my hip.... It's like the ball is grinding in the socket and it hurts every time I move my leg :( No fun.
Soooo I have a lot on my mind, but I don't feel like I have a safe place to release all these jumbled thoughts. I'm not stupid to think that an internet blog is a safe place to release a bunch of thoughts, so I have no idea what to do with them. I guess I'm just wasting time, because Matt is out with his friend, at Wheeling Island.... They went there last night, and I went with them. I was so bored though. However, Matt did end up winning a couple hundred dollars... I know, gambling is wrong... but I don't know how to convince him of that. His family gambles and they're all good at it. The aren't stupid.... He doesn't think it's wrong because he plays smart and wins... but I don't like it..... There is just way too many "What if's" .... *sighs*
I really wish he was here though. I really need to talk to him and get some stuff off my chest and see if I'm being overreacting to a lot of stuff or what.... I'm really confused at the moment and I need an outside view.... And Matt is honest and will tell me if I'm wrong or whatever....
I don't like feeling like this. I feel as if I've accidentally done something and I've made people upset with me or something. But I have no idea what I did. I've been super busy with my new job and haven't been able to talk to hardly anyone but Matt or my mom.... And now I'm down at my parents' house until the New Year because I have to go back to work January 2nd. I feel like I'm being pushed away from everyone, and it isn't a good feeling. I know, others have lives too. I'm not stupid to think differently. I just feel shut out, or left behind... I don't know why, but I just do....
Yeah, emo post.... what, gonna do something about it?
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